


When You Were Away

by CuriousxCrowley



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 16:49:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2277339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousxCrowley/pseuds/CuriousxCrowley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sirius dies in the Ministry Remus and Harry seek comfort in each other. What happens when it turns out Sirius isn't as dead as everyone thought?<br/>Most everything after OotP does not occur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Were Away

Prologue

Today had been Sirius' funeral, Harry had made it through... just barely. And now, now he was back at 12 Grimmauld place alone. Okay that was a lie, there was Remus who was downstairs wallowing in his tea. Harry's heart went out to him Sirius had been his best friend and possibly, he had speculated, more than that. Remus had looked drained and empty at the funeral, standing there holding a single black rose as everyone spoke.

Harry hadn't been able to speak, he spent most of it staring at a tree off in the distance. He didn't have the energy to cry, he had done all of that in the week after Sirius' death. So he just stood there, between Ron and Hermione, staring. Ron had been the one to urge him to toss his rose on the fire and Hermione had been there at his elbow supporting him the whole way. In that moment he had contemplated letting himself fall into the consuming flame, but Hermione had been there almost as if she had heard those thoughts. Thoughts that rang out as Remus had stepped forward and lingered, watching as the rose withered and burnt.

Now everyone was gone and he was... alone.

He circled his room several times before coming to rest before his trunk. Inside, beneath a pile of clothing were several bottles of liquor. A few bottles of fire whiskey from the Weasley twins, shoved into his hands in silence the night before, a half drunk bottle of wine from Hermione “better than any sleeping draught” she had promised, and finally a bottle coated in some language he couldn't read which had been presented to him by Moody just before he had left the night Sirius died. “Careful boy,” He'd warned, “a few shots of this and you wont remember how to walk, let alone how to feel.”

Was it common to give alcohol to a grieving person? Harry was unsure but he suddenly had the urge to drink until he forgot. Forgot Sirius. Forgot Voldemort. Forgot himself.

But he was presented with a problem, he had no way to open these bottles and he still couldn't use magic. He could either give up on the idea or he could go downstairs, where Remus was, and open them. Part of him worried Remus would stop him, the rest of him knew even if he tried he didn't have it in him to fight. So downstairs it was.

Throwing all caution to the wind Harry grabbed all of the bottle but the wine and started down. Each step was echoed by the clanking of glass on glass. Remus would hear him coming long before he got near the kitchen, Harry found he didn't care.

He was right, Remus was looking at the door as he walked in. Upon seeing Harry he sighed and returned to staring into his half filled tea cup. Taking that as a good sign Harry placed the bottles on the table and began searching for a cup and a bottle opener.

“The drawer near the stove...” Remus' voice startled him slightly.

Harry grunted a thank and opened the drawer, sure enough there were several bottle openers.

“I'm not going to try to stop you,” Remus spoke up again, “I'm just going to ask why?”

Harry thought for a moment, “For the past week all I have done is feel. Guilt, shame, anger, sadness, and grief. I have not stopped feeling, even in my sleep, but I need to...” his voice broke “I need to be numb for a little, or else I feel like I might drown, like I'll never breath right again.” And with that he set to his task of opening the strange bottle.

There was a few minutes of silence, broken only by the release of air as Harry worked the bottle open. Then Remus stood and dumped his tea into the sink, turning he placed the now empty cup next the Harry's. “In that case, I'll have some too”

* * *

 

 

Harry's face was numb, and his cup was empty. Remus was chatting quietly about Sirius, about their youth, Harry wondered if he was even talking to him anymore.

They were both drunk. The smell of alcohol was the only scent remaining in the small kitchen and the bottle Moody had given him stood half empty. Harry contemplated it for a moment before pouring himself, and Remus, a little more. The liquor went down smooth, tasting a bit sweet as he swallowed but the after taste was bitter and with every sip he wondered if he truly wanted more. But he kept drinking, as did Remus.

“I loved him, you know, of course you did... I'm certain everyone did.” Remus said suddenly before taking a rather long gulp of the liquor.

Harry nodded. He had known, or at least thought. Even that night, when he had first met Sirius, the way Remus had looked when he learned the truth lead him to question it. He didn't really dwell on it until the previous summer, when he had notice they seemed to share a room. It didn't bother him, nor had it been shocking.

“I know,” He found himself reaching over and squeezing Remus' hand.

“I don't blame you, you know?” Remus said, stumbling over his words, “You said you felt guilty, and I should have said something.”

Harry felt his stomach clench unpleasantly “I blame me,” he admitted quietly into his cup.

Had he waited just a few more minutes Sirius could still be here, things would have been so different. Instead he had acted without thinking, and gotten someone else killed (again). He was guilty, even if no one would blame him. He had killed Sirius, the closest thing to a family he had, it was almost as if he had been holding the wand.

His lungs felt hot and his eyes burned. He was drinking to forget, he couldn't cry. The air wasn't coming, his lungs hurt. All he could see was Sirius falling, no, he was dying.

_Ding dong-ding dong, ding dong-ding dong, ding dong-ding dong._

“Is it really three,” Remus interrupted turning to face the chiming clock.

Harry shook himself and hastily wiped away the tears. “Bloody hell,” he hissed before standing. The room moved as he stood, “Bloody hell,” he said again, this time he grabbed for the table to steady himself.

Remus chuckled, “I'll help, maybe we'll make it if we work together.”

There was something in the way he said that that his Harry hard. Were they talking about walking? But before he could dwell on it too much Remus was next to him offering an arm. Remus was swaying a little but seemed well enough to help. Harry let go of the table and grabbed for Remus' arm. As they started Harry seemed to be more this issue, he could barely keep track of his feet and kept tripping Remus.

They had made it to the entrance hall and were standing contemplating the stairs. Harry felt a push and found himself being guided up them. Left, right, grab the rail, left, right, grab the rail. Remus was right behind him preventing him from ever being in danger of falling back. Just as he was about to make the last two steps, the world shifted and Harry felt himself falling back. And then he was crashing forward onto the landing.

He came to a rest on his stomach with Remus half on his back. Suddenly he began laughing. Not even a manly laugh, but a giggle. He was giggling like a little boy, and he didn't know why. He was starting to recover when he caught sound of Remus laughing with him, and just like that he was off again.

He was having trouble breathing and when he attempted to turn over he realized Remus was still laying on him. This made him laugh harder as they both fought to reposition, it was ackward and painful. It was ridiculous.

Then it was silent.

His lips were on Remus', or was it Remus's lips were on his. He didn't know.

Who had moved first? Who would move first? He didn't know.

And then he moved first, into Remus. They were kissing, and all he could taste was the alcohol. He wanted to move away. What the fuck was going on? But he found himself moving into Remus: first with his lips, then his tongue, and then with his body. Harry was hard and he could feel Remus in the same state.

Remus was the first to pull away “Harry, you're drunk.”

“As are you” Harry replied, not caring as he reached out to grab the older man.

“Harry you're not even 16” Remus protest trying to slide out of reach, finding himself blocked by the wall.

“I know,” Harry nodded sliding even closer. God, how drunk was he?

“Harry to the best of my knowledge you're not even gay,” Remus pleaded pushing his arm in between them.

“I feel like you're not taking into account the current situation,” Harry reminded with a soft grind of his hips.

“Har-” Remus tried but was cut off by Harry's lips. He didn't protest, instead his tongue slid out to meet Harry's.

Harry pulled his head back, “Remus, help me make it through... help me.” he pleaded, he wasn't even sure what he was asking.

There were no more words and soon there no more clothes. Harry couldn't help wonder if it had been magic, this made him giggle again.

Remus was doing his best at avoiding true physical contact with Harry, arching his back in a way that seemed uncomfortable. Harry had enough. He snaked his hand down and grasped Remus's cock in his hand. It was different than touching his own and the moan that escaped Remus's mouth went straight into his ears and to his own cock.

He had never actually been with another man, sure he'd thought about it. Truth be told he had thought about it often when he realized Sirius and Remus were together. He wasn't sure what he was actually supposed to be doing. So instead he just stroked Remus the way he knew he liked it. Remus rewarded him with little sounds and pants, assuring him he was going in the right direction.

When the other man's hand wrapped around his own cock, Harry froze. He didn't know why he was shocked, they were after all, lying naked together. Remus felt his hesitation and looked at him questioningly.

Harry was afraid to speak, he was afraid he'd break this moment. So instead he thrust himself into Remus's hand. Remus smiled and began helping. Harry kept forgetting what he was supposed to be doing, too distracted. Then Remus's hand withdrew and was pushing away his own hand.

Harry was convinced he'd broken it somehow, he leaned up to fight but instead found Remus turning him over. He was confused. And then, just like that, it hit him. His whole body tensed. Heavy petting was one thing, this was a whole other line that was going to be crossed.

Remus leaned down and whispered “I promise, I wont hurt you if you relax”

Harry willed himself to relax but immediately tensed the second he felt Remus' slide a finger inside him.

“Relax” Remus reminded softly. Again he tried, the alcohol helped.

This time he relaxed even as he felt something cool and slick enter him. Lube? He didn't dare ask because now he felt Remus's cock slide up again him. Harry made sure to only clench his fists as he was entered.

It burned a little, but it didn't hurt. And when Remus was in it turned to a pleasant feeling. After a few moments Harry couldn't help but wiggle around Remus. Remus grabbed at his waist trying to regain control.

Harry wondered, cheekily, what would happen if he squeezed just a little. Remus groaned and thrust almost involuntarily. But that thrust had his Harry right in his center. Now it was his turned to lose control as he slid forward and then thrust back onto Remus.

That was it. Neither of them could stop. Back and forth. The soft moans and sounds of flesh drove them on.

Harry could feel himself tighten but try as he might he couldn't contain it. Remus seemed to sense it as well and pressed into Harry and held him. Harry wanted to cry out but he had bit his lip, his cock hurt he needed to... _fuck_.

Remus had begun thrusting again, and with these renewed movement Harry came onto the floor below them. He finally cried out and it echoed back at him.

When he came to he felt Remus's cock pulsating in him, emptying into him.

They collapsed, Harry's arms didn't want to hold him up and his legs were weak. Remus had enough decency to collapse to the side, his eyes were skewed shut as he panted.

Harry was breathing heavily as well. And all of a sudden he was hit with it.

_He was breathing._

It wasn't forced and he didn't feel like he was inhaling fire. He was actually breathing for the first time in a week.


End file.
